<p>We have some breaking news. The centimillionaire on a monomaniacal quest for immortality, which he sustains by quite literally living off the blood of the young, is no longer exsanguinating his own progeny to stave off certain doom. That vampyric figure — who, had he existed in another time period, would've had to lock himself in a castle to avoid the locals trying to shove a stake through his heart (but now merely has to fend off snarky reply guys) — is Bryan Johnson. This Tuesday on X, he announced his latest medical stunt in trying to stay alive forever. […]</p>