College admissions work the same way. Most families assume that Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) is about being kind, likable or involved in service work. Colleges aren't just evaluating what students know — they're assessing how students think, how they grow, and how they relate to others. Colleges can tell when students are forcing a certain personality or voice on the page. Read published personal essays from real writers — Joan Didion, Brian Doyle, Esmé Wang.