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The Crotch-Based Allegations at the Winter Olympics Are Getting Stranger and Stranger

Frank Landymore

created: Feb. 8, 2026, 12:30 p.m. | updated: Feb. 12, 2026, 2:38 a.m.

That’s the big question looming over this year’s Winter Olympics in Milan and Cortina d’Ampezzo, Italy. The injection enlarges the penis and increases the suit’s surface area, in theory granting a jumper greater lift — and thereby endowing the term “crotch rocket” with a whole new meaning. “Ski jumping is very popular in Poland, so I promise you I’m going to look at it,” he said with a smirk, as quoted by The Guardian. Last year, Norway’s skiing team was caught manipulating their suits to get an edge by adding a banned form of stitching into the groin region to increase the suit’s surface area. It’s one thing to adjust the fabric around your crotch, and another to actually turn to dick injections.

3 days, 14 hours ago: Futurism